Do you have a school-aged child? Have you been breathing into a paper bag in anticipation of 6 weeks avec said sidekick? Stop screaming parental pal – it’s going to be OK… the pros of the summer holidays far outweigh the cons. And in case you were in any doubt see below, no probs.
CONS
- No alone toilet time
- No alone shopping time
- No alone Instagram browsing time
- If working you will have to muddle together childcare. This may/may not be a mix mash of bizarre ‘hobby’ clubs (‘Of COURSE you want to do fencing for a week darling, you’ll LOVE it’). Your child will invariably love it for the first day and then HATE it because their best friend, Alex, hates it too and their mum isn’t making them go anymore. Why is Alex’s mum such a DICK? Hasn’t she also paid £150 for Alex to give fencing a bash because she knows he will LOVE it? (And not at all because it is very conveniently located next to the train station for easy work access and it is the only course that goes on until 6pm). How on earth is Alex going to be a musketeer if he can’t persevere for more than one day at fencing club? (They fence, right? The musketeers? Not sure – haven’t actually seen it, if not then they certainly persevere – LEARN TO PERSEVERE ALEX AND YOUR MUM, I need childcare). So anyway, childcare over the summer holidays = a con. And whilst I’m on that point you know those summer clubs run by bored university students? Where a company hire out a school and do all the activities you’ve heard of plus a couple you haven’t? Well those university students are all hungover and up to no good. And snogging each other after hours. And I know that because I was one (Dean if you’re reading this – call me).
- You are required to make 3 healthy nutritious meals a day. No more ‘well, they’ve had a hot dinner at school so it’s fine to have crisps for tea’. They’ve had crisps for lunch in the summer holidays too. And actually, on occasion, breakfast. Quick, someone google ‘healthy family meals’ ASAP.
- No alone time to google ‘healthy family meals’
- No alone cooking time to make ‘healthy family meals’
PROS
- No alone time whatsoever. I can’t remember how this was a pro. Oh yes – you won’t get lonely.
- Your child may learn a new skill such as fencing at a childcare course (not you Alex, obviously).
- You do not have to do the school run.
The more observant among you will notice that the con list is longer than the pro list. Allow me to repeat – you. do. not. have. to. do. the. school. run. This is the trump card of the post (the good kind, not the the Donald kind). I have written before about how the school run has dramatically lost it’s sheen for me (yeah, i’ll admit it, I used to enjoy it) but as I type this post in the knowledge that I am about to undertake the final school run for 6 weeks I feel a kind of excitement that I haven’t felt since my youngest child was conceived. So long sweaty lip, angry persona and shouty voice. No more fishing dirty clothes from the wash basket in a blind panic. No more bumping the buggy up the curb whilst simultaneously avoiding dog poo. No more walk of doom through reception because you’re too late for the gate.
The biggest perk of the school holidays which BY FAR outweighs the fact that I will now have an audience of three for every dump I take for the next 6 weeks (and they don’t even applaud) is:
No more school run.
For the next 6 weeks anyway.
See you in September.
Alex and his mum were made up for the purposes of this blogpost. Also, fencing clubs do not actually exist as far as I am aware, but there are plenty of bizarre extra curricular activities going on in the summer (and if you’re thinking ‘actually I know a cracking fencing course’ then I rest my case).
