8 Things Not To Say To New Mums

    1.’When are you due?’ I’ve had this. Ouch. I did ugly crying. For a week. 2. When your baby is crying some flipping smart arse will pipe up with ‘have you tried feeding them?‘ What do you want us to do? Slap our heads in disbelief and say ‘you are a blinking genius, […]

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Would I lie to you baby?

When I was a child my Grandpa told me a story about lying which I have never forgotten – he used to work as a bursar at an all girls school and for some reason was often encouraged to join in the sixth formers debating sessions. To his horror the topic one week was sex education […]

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Sharing is not so caring

I find this concept of spending a disproportionate amount of my day teaching my kids to share rather bizarre. Picture the scene- you are at the station waiting for a train and you are in the middle of an important work call. A drunk, swaying, slightly crazed man heads your way. You ignore him and […]

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When you have a crier

If you have a crier, first of all why are you reading this? You are on borrowed time my friend- go get yourself a coffee, have a lie down or simply enjoy the silence before it all starts again. My first born was a crier- not that I knew it at the time. Quite frankly I […]

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Playgroup

What is a playgroup? Clue is in the name right? WRONG. One would assume a playgroup is a group wherein your children play. Do my children play at playgroup? No they do bloody not. Aims of a ‘playgroup’ for me: drink the most caffeinated drink, eat some of the biscuits intended for small children and […]

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Oh no, it’s that mum….

Who is ‘that mum’?.. Y’know, the one spoken about in hushed tones who let the school aged child eat sweets until she was sick, thought that the two year old would benefit from a bit of one way interaction with the telly and once accidentally fed the baby a chilli and had to spend the […]

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