Problems with being an Instamum Thought I’d share with you a little cycle that happens in my life approximately once every other month. Lets call it the ‘I want to be a radiant, healthy, smug, yoga loving mum’ cycle. I will have indulged in some misspent minutes (hours) pouring over pictures on instagram of ultra […]
How Kids Are Better Than You
Children are infinitely better than you. Yes, I know, they are irrational mini hooligans led by their mini ego’s and tiny tummies. But in this list, I’m gonna cut them some slack. Here is how toddlers make up in morales what they lack in stature. Until a certain age they can’t lie. Its a short […]
Extreme Parenting
From one extreme to another It has come to my attention that motherhood is somewhat of an emotional journey (yeah I know, bit late to the party). And it goes from one end of the emotional spectrum to another. Put it this way- I either LOVE my kids (look how cute they are, their […]
If MP’s were Mini People
Ever thought about the laws that kids would pass if they had the chance? Me neither until today. I was negotiating meal time politics for the umpteenth time and it suddenly struck me that MPs (Mini People) are pretty political in their own little way. So how do their views differ from Members of Parliament? […]
The Parenting Phases
If I had a nickel for everytime I had heard the phrase ‘it’s just a phase’ then I’d be heading to America and wondering why I didn’t ask for a pound. Everything with children is apparently a ‘phase’. They are up in the night. It’s a phase, they catch constant colds? Just a […]
How to Self Assemble a Human
So I was assembling some furniture from a well known Swedish flatpack furniture retailer we’ll call Ikea, and as I was endlessly whacking what look like tiny wooden breadsticks into holes the old adage ‘babies don’t come with a manual’ came into my head. Thing is though, what with this new fangled internet malarky, they […]
A List Of Things *NOT* To Do at Christmas
Christmas is approaching and so the lists of things to do with kids in your local area are arriving into your awareness – and inbox – thick and fast. Here is my helpful list of things *not* to do at Christmas with the little ones. That’s right- here is your permission to sink back […]
Diva daughters
You know you have a diva when… Now I know that all toddlers have a little Nicki Minaj lurking in them but how can you tell if you are raising a full on, demanding diva. Well as someone who is the primary carer of a mini Mariah I know the signs, and here they are.. […]
How My Body Has Changed After 3 Kids
So I was going to call this post ‘how people’s bodies change’ but because it is such an individual thang I thought I would stick to what I know. Me. Plus I couldn’t cope with the thought of some ladycakes reading this 2 hours post natal and saying – ‘Not me, I just snapped […]
‘What makes my boobs feel full’ a song (a one tit blunder) To the tune of One Direction’s ‘What makes you beautiful’
What makes my boobs feel full You’re on the floor Don’t know what for You’re screaming wildly and I know there is more Baby needs a feed I jump right up Being in charge of both of you is so tough Everyone else in the room can see tit And now toddler needs a poo […]